Rebecca's Blah Blah Blog

the story of my life as a writer

Blog Table of Contents

1. My Novel's First Rejection
2. The Joys of Working From Home
3. I Think I Put the Postage on the Wrong Side of the Envelope
4. Signs of Life
5. The Awful Chapter
6. Silence
7. My Novel's Second Rejection
8. Rethinking Chapter One
9. Vacation Time
10. Author Vs. Agents
11. Help! My Imagination is Running Away With Me, and I Can't Keep Up!
12. A New Appreciation for the Plight of Agents
13. Round Two Begins
14. Lots to be Thankful For
15. The Check Was in the Mail
16. Status Report

1. My Novel's First Rejection

July 16, 2007

Went out to get the mail a few minutes ago. Horrors! There was a big white envelope! My SASE! Oh, I hate this part! Will I ever get used to it?

I couldn't open it.

"It's okay. It's okay. She gets hundreds of queries. She doesn't care. That's her job, to read queries and reject almost all of them! She probably didn't even think about it! She's forgotten it already!" I tried to reassure myself as I slammed dishes into the dishwasher.

I looked at the envelope. I didn't see anything pink inside. Do agents send back pink slips for rejections, or is that just publishers? I could read the response letter through the side of the envelope. Dear something starting with A? My name doesn't start with A. OH, it's Dear Author, a form rejection letter. I don't even want to read it! It will give me no clue as to what I did wrong. Did the agent bother to sign it? Did the agent read it, or did the agent's secretary read it? Maybe the janitor read it and told the secretary to put it in the reject box. I'm hungry. Maybe I should eat a snack before I read my form rejection letter? Some victuals to brace myself against the disappointment.

I wrote in red ink on the outside of the envelope: "Somewhere out there is someone who will be my agent. I will find this person."

I still haven't opened it yet. The suspense is all gone, so why can't I open the thing?

Oh dread, now I have to do it again! Now I have to hunt up another agent to query!

Maybe I should take up the ukulele instead. That way I can irritate people en masse instead of just one literary agent at a time.
-RJC

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2. The Joys of Working From Home

August 21, 2007

After stalling for several hours by making icons for my book list page, I finally got around to looking for another agent. Maybe I'm too picky, but I just can't see me submitting my manuscript to an agent whose latest publishing deal was for "A hundred and one ways to serve appetizers at block parties" or something like that. Then there was that agent who represents only authors of Great Literary Works. That's not me either. Lots of agents want edgy books. What does edgy mean? Pushing the boundaries of traditional social acceptedness in favor of political correctness? That's not me either. I am my own drummer.

I finally settled on someone and got the query letter, synopsis, and first three chapters printed up. This was difficult to do with a two year old who likes pressing the buttons on the printer in the middle of a print job. I hope Ms. Agent appreciates what I'm going through.

When I had everything printed and tucked safely in an envelope, I announced to my children that I had come home from work.

"Did you ever leave?" my ten year old asked in disbelief, without looking up from the game he had invented involving marbles and a Battleship game board.

"Sure I did," I insisted, "I've been gone since ten o'clock this morning!" Mentally, if not physically. Then, using great force of will power, I did laundry and washed dishes and did not do any more writing for the rest of the afternoon. Well, maybe I thought of some changes to the query letter, revised it, and printed out a new copy, but that was just a teeny indiscretion.
- RJC

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3. I Think I Put the Postage on the Wrong Side of the Envelope

August 24, 2007
Today I finally got out to the post office. I had a stack of bills and another query to send off. As I drove down the road I had to fight a growing sense of foreboding. Why was I doing this? This was crazy! I am sending a letter, a synopsis, and the first three chapters of my book to a complete stranger! I thought, If I turn the car around and drive home right now, I could put the bills in the mail box and put my manuscript in the filing cabinet and just forget about the whole thing. No one would ever know the difference. I don't have to publish this novel. WHY AM I DOING THIS?

Somehow, I ended up at the post office. There was a line at the counter, but there in the lobby I saw the Self-Serve Mailing Machine. No line there, and it had a scale on it. I could at least weigh my package and find out what the return postage on my SASE should be.

I stared at the machine for a long time, wondering if it was safe. Then I started poking the virtual buttons on the touch screen. The machine asked me a long series of questions which I answered by selecting the appropriate answer button. What did I want to do? Mail a package. What kind? Large envelope. What kind of mail? Regular Post. Put it on the scale, the machine said. I put the envelope on the scale. To what zip code? I typed in the agent's zip. Did the pre-printed mailing label fit on my envelope? Sure. Whatever. The machine asked for my debit card. I put it in. After poking in my secret number, the machine spat out a nice mailing label, complete with the agent's zip code on it.

Wait a minute! That was supposed to be for my SASE! ARGH! I needed a label addressed back to myself. This would never have happened if I was talking to a real person and not a machine!

I went through the whole entire process again, and was rewarded with another big sticker, this time with MY zip code on it. The machine reminded me to write the rest of the address on the sticker, and told me to have a nice day.

I read on the AgentQuery web site a few days ago that agents like to recieve queries with sample writing in a Priority Mail envelope. Well, if it makes them happy, why not? I was all warmed up with the Self-Serve machine so I started poking virtual buttons again. This time I selected Priority Mail. Rather than two bucks, this big sticker cost me nearly five, but I noted it wasn't going to make a lick of difference in the delivery time. The delivery time to New York for Priority Mail was three days, exactly the same as the two dollar regular post.

Whatever. After inserting my debit card in the machine for a THIRD time, at last I had it! Postage for my query!

I took the three stickers, three recipts, two envelopes, and thirty manuscript pages to a counter where the post office had provided a pen so I could write in the addresses. I stuck my return address label in the middle of my SASE, folded it in half, and stuffed it in the Priority Mail envelope along with my manuscript. Then I ran into a problem.

The front of the Priority Mail envelope had a big blank space that looked like a nice spot for sticking the agent's postage and address label. But the back of the Priority Mail envelope had spaces for writing in the addresses. Was I supposed to put the label on the back of the envelope? It didn't take an undergraduate degree in physics to see that if I stuck the postage label on the back of the Priority Mail envelope in the same place that the addresses were supposed to be written, it would completely cover up the spot for the return address! Apparently, these Self-Service Priority Mail postage stickers weren't designed to be stuck on these Priority Mail envelopes!

What to do? What to do? I thought of getting in line to ask, but then I remembered the fact that I had to get to the elementary school to meet my son's kindergarten teacher before three o'clock. All the people in line looked different than the people I had seen when I first came into the post office. If I'd stood in line at the counter I'd be driving home right now. This must have been why the Self-Serve machine had been sitting all lonesome and alone in the lobby.

At last I just stuck the postage label on the front of the envelope and stuck my return address on the back. Let them figure it out. I rolled the door for the mail slot open and dropped in my query.

As I drove home I agonized, trying to remember if I'd put everything in the envelope. Had I sent the most recent drafts of everything? Had I double checked to make sure it was all there? At last I burst out laughing, thinking that every postal worker between here and New York would get a chuckle out of seeing that label on the WRONG side of the envelope.

I couldn't even think about what the agent would think. No matter. Time to get back on the internet and find another agent to query. I'll be looking for one with a 10024 zip code so I can use that extra postage sticker.
-RJC

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4. Signs of Life

August 30, 2007
Another first today.

I got something back from an agent that was NOT a rejection!

When I went to check my e-mail, an agent I had e-queried had written me back asking to see the first 50 pages! I was stunned, especially since I had sort of merged my synopsis and my official query letter at the last minute just so she'd understand the first page of my novel. She only wanted the first page for the query. No two agents seem to want the same thing. This is a good thing, otherwise all the writers would be sending out mindless barrages of generic "form queries" and receive in return endless piles of generic "form rejections."

At first I was not too excited. It was nice not to be completely rejected out of hand again, but all this really meant was that my query letter didn't end up in this particular agent's electronic recycle bin. Publication was still light-years away. Then I started thinking. If one agent liked my query enough to want to see more, then maybe some agent will even like my book! Maybe I really have a chance!

It felt like time for a little celebration. I outdid myself and made corn flake chicken and real mashed potatoes (not instant potato flakes) for dinner.

My son came home from school with a Scholastic Book Club order. I have never looked at one of those without imagining a book I wrote there on the page with all the others. Opening the Book Club order, I held it up to show him, "Some day," I told my son, "Probably not while you're in elementary school, but maybe when your baby brother is, one of you is going to come home with one of these that has a book I wrote in it."
-RJC

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5. The Awful Chapter

September 5, 2007
"That was terrible!" I moaned when my husband had finished reading chapter 15 of my book. I had asked him to read out loud to me while I folded laundry, thinking I could do housework and revise my manuscript at the same time. The first paragraph was okay, but by the time he had reached the end of the chapter I had collapsed in agony into a pile of unmatched socks. I stared up at the ceiling and pleaded in desperation. "How can I possibly save that chapter?"

"The first few lines are all right," my husband reassured me.

"But then it gets awful!" I ranted, "What are they doing? What are they thinking?" The scene should have been intense, but instead there was no sense of urgency at all. Why do I try to write adventure stories when my characters just want to stand around making smart remarks? Maybe I should be writing scripts for TV sit-coms instead. "Let me at that computer." I said. There was no saving chapter 15. Most of it had to be amputated.

According to AgentQuery.com, at 76,000 words my manuscript is about 16,000 words too long for a first time author in my genre. So, taking the scapel to an awful chapter just might have increased my chances for publication in more ways than one. By the time I was done, all that remained of the Awful Chapter was three pages of bare essentials, tacked on to the end of chapter 14. Pacing is now much improved. Revision is a wonderful thing.
-RJC

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6. Silence

September 7, 2007
No word from any agents all week long. Nothing in the mail. Nothing in the inbox. It gave me an itchy feeling, a feeling like it was time to send out some more queries!

My goal is to send out one e-mail and one query by post every week until I find my agent. I know this isn't very agressive, but the way I figure, it took me fifteen years to write this book, I can take my time getting it published. Besides, I want to carefully research my agents and craft personalized queries. Call it attention to details.

I also printed out draft 15 today. In the old days I used to do all my revising on the computer. In order to save paper, I would seldom print out a draft. Instead I would read the manuscript on the computer and when I saw something I didn't like I would change it. THIS IS NOT VERY EFFECTIVE! I had to switch between reader, editor and writer so often that I would either lose the flow of the story or get lazy with my revising.

Now I print out every draft. Then I read it through with pencil in hand, just marking things I want to change and then reading on. Then when I've read through the whole book I go back to the computer and make the changes. If I didn't mark any changes in a chapter, I don't even have to look at it! This works much better than poking the manuscript around on the computer while I'm trying to read it at the same time.
-RJC

7. My Novel's Second Rejection

September 10, 2007
I got an e-mail yesterday morning. The agent who asked for the partial said that while she admired my imagination, it was just too young for her taste.

I found that a little puzzling. Did my query not have "light-hearted romp" written all over it? Perhaps I should be more explicit.

If "too young for my taste" referred to the general lack of S, L, V, D, and all those other nasty letters, then so be it. My book is a young adult novel because I need the characters to have adult cognitive skills to pull off the plot, AND I need the reader to have enough prior experience with fictional cliche to get the jokes. I am not marketing it as a young adult novel just so that I can include a smattering of "adult" material!

But, giving the agent the benefit of the doubt, I will assume she simply means that my book is too childish in overall tone for her liking. My book does get darker later on, but I will admit that the first fifty pages are mere silly fun.

Next time, I will contact agents who also represent children's books. There must be someone out there who still likes silly fun and a good, light-hearted romp.
-RJC Table of Contents

8. Rethinking Chapter One

September 10, 2007
Yesterday I found Garth Nix's agent on the internet.

She's accepting queries.

Now I have a mission. Before I query this one, the first fifty pages must be brilliant.

I looked over my first fifty pages, and I think I understand what that agent who said the book was too young for her taste really meant. The characters are not reacting realistically to the events that I throw at them.

So I don't think I need to change what happens, I need to change how my characters interact with what is happening. Then the reader will believe in them, because the reader thinks, ah, that's just what I would do, or, yes, I can see how someone might feel that way or do that.

So much work to do! Ah, but what's the rush? Better spend seven years writing and one year looking for an agent than one year writing and seven years looking for an agent.
-RJC Table of Contents

9. Vacation Time

September 17, 2007
I have decided to take a two week vacation.

I can do this because I don't have an agent, I don't have an editor, and I don't have a publisher. Lucky me!

Yes, for two weeks I am going to try and be a normal person. This will not be an easy task. Since Saturday when I decided it was time for a break I got some great new ideas that I desperately want to work into my latest draft. I know from experience that if I don't work on my book for a few days I start to go into withdrawal. I'll stop in the middle of washing dishes and moan in pain because the words just want to get out! I'll get choked up when I see a book catalog because I want to be published so bad it hurts.

But my husband needs to finish a huge project for work. His job is on the line. I need to have my wits about me for the next two weeks, so I bid the realms of fiction a temporary farewell.

Over these next two weeks I should collect those last two rejections that are still wending their way back in my direction. Of course they will be flat rejections! I sent them out a week ago with LAST WEEK'S DRAFT!

Last week's draft was miserable! It was terrible! I'm almost ashamed to own it. Any self-respecting agent would reject it out of hand. THIS WEEK'S DRAFT, on the other hand, is BRILLIANT. After I come back from vacation and get it polished up, then watch out New York City!
-RJC Table of Contents

10. Author Vs. Agents

October 4, 2007
Ever since I began sending letters to agents in earnest I have been trying to think of a way to score the game. I've finally hit on a method that I think will show at a glance how things are going.

As the author, I get two different scores. One counts one point for each query I send to an agent. My second score is for any time an agent responds with something other than the standard photo-copied rejection letter. An encouraging note scribbled on the standard rejection letter, a request to see more of the manuscript, anything like that. The Agents' score points for responding at all, even if it is only a rejection letter photo-copied right down to the signature. I may add a second score for agents some day. That score would keep track of offers for representation.

Right now, my score is 6 and 1. Agents' score is 5. That means I still have one response to wait for, and somebody liked my query enough to want to see more.

To stay ahead in the game, all I have to do is keep submitting. In the end, I can't do worse than earn a tie, because no one is going to reject me if I haven't sent them a query, right?

The game ends when I give up, or when I accept an offer of representation. If I give up, everyone loses. If I get an agent, we all win.
-RJC Table of Contents

11. Help! My Imagination is Running Away With Me, And I Can't Keep Up!

October 9, 2007

What was I thinking?

Do I want to spend the next few years of my life promoting my book, or do I want to spend more time with my children?

The book can wait. Today I went to the park with my children. As I sat on the bench to take a break between chasing my son's airplane over the field and pushing the baby in the swing, I realized that when my kids are too old to go to the park I won't have anyone to play with me at the park. If I sit in the sand by the volleyball nets making sand piles when I haven't got little kids around me, people are going to get nervous. They'll think I'm imbecilic.

When the kids are too old to play in the sand, I'll console myself by publishing my silly fantasy novels.

In the mean time, I'm still going to write them. Hee hee. Deciding not to pursue publication at this point has freed up lots of time to do what I like best: draft new material!

At times like this, my imagination works much too fast for me to keep up. Two hours a day doesn't get down a fraction of what I've dreamed up, and as soon as I get up from the computer I think of more. I can write a chapter a day, typing for hours and hours on end and never feeling tired. What exhilaration! Still, I'd better rein in the horses now and go do music practice time with my children. The book can wait.
-RJC Table of Contents

12. A New Appreciation for the Plight of Agents

October 20, 2007

How dull it is to get the mail now that I'm not expecting any rejection letters! I only have one short story out, and one solicited but unpaid editorial in the works. My novel is languishing on my hard drive. I don't think I'll be able to stand it much longer. Almost time for round two of Author Vs. Agents!

My novel isn't entirely languishing. I did enter it in the Amazon.com Breakthrough Novel Award contest. This has been very entertaining. The best part about it is the contestant message board. One very popular discussion asks entrants to post the summaries they entered with their manuscript. Many mentioned that they used the summary from their query letters.

I have a new appreciation for the plight of agents. Now I've seen what they have to read through every day. They must sit at their desks and laugh and laugh. Even a perfectly good novel, when reduced to four lines of text, can sound utterly absurd. How do the agents sort through them all? I understand why one guy paid $400 for some editor to write his query. How can I take seven years of my own creative effort and reduce it to four lines of text? It is an insult!

I am very excited about the ABNA contest. Only the other day I said, "I wonder how many people are trying to get a book published this year? And how does mine compare?" That was before I found out about the contest. By April I will have the answers.
-RJC Table of Contents

13. Round Two Begins

November 3, 2007

I mailed off material to two more agents last Thursday, and plan to do two more next week. I learned much in my first foray into agent hunting, which I will gladly share with the rest of you:

• Query letters should be short and to the point. If the agent likes your basic idea, fine, if not, no amount of wordy persuasion will sway them.
• Many agents say they will look at genres that they do not habitually publish. This is ridiculous. If an agent doesn't have a recent deal in your genre, don't bother. If they only have one or two, think twice. You want someone who knows how to sell what you've got.
• Be sure and say something in your letter to let the agent know you aren't just sending out a hundred identical query letters to a hundred random agents. Let each agent know why you contacted her, or you're likely to get a photocopied rejection along with a hundred other hopeful authors.
• Revise, revise, revise! You have one page to convince a total stranger that your writing is worthy of attention. It had better be well written!

And now, after all of that, here is the query letter I wish I could write:

Dear Agent:

I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK!

Not that you care.

My book is a work of genius. It will revolutionize its genre. But first people have to read it.

If you find me a publishing company, and the publishing company sees fit to put a decent amount of advertizing behind it, we will, dare I say it, RULE THE WORLD!

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Yours Truly

-RJC

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14. Lots to be Thankful For

November 21, 2004

I found one of my SASEs in the mailbox today. I recognized it from the stamps as one from a submission I had sent to a children's magazine last October 1st. "Oh what a shame," I sighed as I took out the stack of advertisements and junk mail underneath it. I loved that story, and I really thought they would buy it. Even worse, I noticed that they had put an additional fifteen cents of postage on the envelope to get it to me. I'd put insufficient postage on my SASE! How unprofessional of me! How embarassing.

I haven't gotten good news in the mail for seven years. I was starting to wonder if maybe I was using the wrong kind of paper. Or maybe it was my persistent unprofessionality, not putting enough postage on the SASE and all.

But then, after I came in the house and picked up the envelope to take another look, I realized that it wasn't fat enough to be holding my manuscript. They hadn't sent the story back.

I started to get hopeful.

I opened the envelope, and out came a contract! In fact, looking back at the envelope, it had "Contract Enclosed" stamped on the front. I just didn't see it! I was laughing and crying all at once. There were tears on my contract. They wanted to buy my story!

To make a good day even better, my brother Jon called me to tell me he got an internship with Pixar Animation Studios! If you'd like to know why they hired him, go check out his demo reel on his blog. It is in the Nov 16 post.
-RJC

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15. The Check Was in the Mail

15. The Check Was in the Mail

December 17, 2007

You know you're a writer when you go into a bookshop, pick up a book, and say, "Oh, this author! His agent is Ms. so-and-so. I sent her a query letter last week."

I knew I had entered a new realm when it happened to me.

Another thing that surprised me about being a writer was what an emotional roller coaster getting the mail can be. Yesterday I got another polite note of disinterest from a literary agency. I hate to call it a rejection since I didn't send any sample pages, or even a synopsis. How can they possibly tell anything from my query letter alone? It doesn't even hardly count. Still, it made me feel depressed. The agents have almost caught up with me now. I only have one letter still out, and I won't have time to send out more until after the holidays!

Then today I got the check that makes me a real live professional writer. I have at last sold a story to a real professional magazine, and today I got a real professional looking check in the mail for it. I was jumping up and down and squealing with delight. I almost want to frame that beautiful check, but then I couldn't cash it.
-RJC Table of Contents

16. Status Report

February 14, 2008

After about six months of sending out queries I finally went back and re-read my manuscript.

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

My book is NOT ready for an agent. Even I can see that now. So I bid you all farewell while I go off and do some INTENSE REVISING.

Check back here in a year or two for more exciting developments.

-RJC Table of Contents

For more fun and adventure, come on over to my personal blog: rebeccajcarlson.blogspot.com